Robert, rimembri ancora Quel tempo della tua vita mortale

I always think of him in May, the month that saw his birth and death. The sweet May that gave and took, as in the life of the Buddha.

We lived a half block apart and saw each other regularly from birth. My first strong memory of him was in the Capitolo Playground at 9th and Reed in 1963 when he was 6 and I but 5. He was 6 months older, which in that youthful time seemed a great difference. I remember that afternoon in the playground swinging with him while he told me his first plans for the future, the future that bekons to youth, his plan was to be a priest, or a firemen.

We bagain our education at the same time, in school his 6 months advance was nullified. We spent 8 years together at the Annunciation BVM Elementary school at 12th and Reed and an additional 4 years together in Bishop Neumann High School, both of us celebrating our graduation into the world in 1976.

By 1976 we were fast friends. We knew each other’s dreams, likes, and interests. As he worked at the Twin shop at 10th and Tasker, where I spent most of my free time in the 70’s, we seemed always together. My friend had a great gift for design and decoration and turned the Twin Shoppe windows into works of arts. His skills were appreciated and had he tried I believe he could have had a career in design.

My friend’s name was Robert, and he was my oldest friend as I turned to adulthood.

We had many memories and shared experiences from Kindergarten to 12th grade, not to mention birthdays, weddings, parties, for we were our own cumpare- or rather a 1970’s teenage version of it. Robert and I shared the harrowing number 40 trackless trolley ride to Bishop Neumann High School. We shared nights out , days off during snow storms, and evenings at the Twin shop with Tony Comatose and the brotherhood of the guys who hung at 10th and Tasker. I became friendly with his family and spent part of every holiday season at his house. He came from a very close knit clan and they had the greatest of family parties and food.

When adulthood came and snatched us from our south Philly safety nets- I to university and marriage and Robert to a career as a hairdresser, we still shared ideas and discoveries, nights out and at times a mutual waywardness.

During the summer of 1985 while I was on an historical tour of Italy for 3 months, Robert kept my wife company and free from boredom.

I even worked for Robert selling Easter flowers at 13th and Synder and 10th and Tasker, putting myself up as an expert on flora. We did good business and perhaps should have opened a flower and plant shop.

As the 80’s progressed we both became more involved with our personal lives and did not see each other with the frequency of older times.

Then came 1987 and Robert became ill, ill in a terrible progress of sickness; and it dawned upon me that Robert would not survive. Robert took his illness well, as did his family , and his last months while somber , were fill of friends and love.

During those last few months I spend as much time with Robert as I did when we were children at the Annunciation school or teenagers at Bishop Neumann High School.

I told him of my trips to Europe and the people I met, of things I was up to, we talked of our past, of the swing at the Capitolo play yard, and even of the future, as if talking of the future would erase the reality of the present.

The last time I saw him alive was a few days after his 29th birthday in May 1987, he was by then in the very arms of death and left us soon after (+Requiescat in Pace).

His funeral was majestic, with people from near and far , new friends and old family, and 6 strong men to carry his wooden coffin upon their shoulders - like that of a fallen prince. His older brother spoke an eulogy which used the song Moon River to illustrate aspects of Robert and his personality. An effective tribute, so effective that when I hear the song I think of Robert as if Breakfast at Tiffany’s or Audrey Hepburn never existed. A fitting testament, Robert loved good things and had style and would have approved of it all.

His treasured mother, to whom he was so close, carried herself with a profound dignity that was to me a source of great comfort.

Being from South Philly I have been to lots of funerals and wakes, but Robert’s was the most touching. Perhaps because he was so close in friendship and age, for in taking Robert Death’s angel brushed me with his wings.

I reflect on Robert every May. It has been 19 years since he died and nearly 43 years since the swings at the Capitolo playground. I can not say I still mourn for Robert, for so many years have come ,and so much has happened since he left. But I still think of him and try to remember as he was. This recalls a favorite poem- A Silvia by the poet Giacomo Leopardi. The poem reflects on the memories of the past through a remembrance of a girl Silvia who died many years ago. It is not a poem of lost love but of a lost age. I quote parts with my own comment.

A Silvia
by Giacomo Leopardi (note: my translation is more literal then poetic)

Silvia, rimembri ancora (Silvia, remembering again)
Quel tempo della tua vita mortale, (the time of your mortal life,)
Quando beltà splendea (when beauty still shone)
Negli occhi tuoi ridenti e fuggitivi,( in your sidelong, laughing eyes,)
E tu, lieta e pensosa, il limitare (and you, light and thoughtful,)
Di gioventù salivi? (went beyond youth’s limits)

Robert had beautiful green eyes , and remains in my memories always young, as he never grew old.

Allor che all'opre intenta (you sat, happily content,)
Sedevi, assai contenta (intent, on that work.)
Di quel vago avvenir che in mente avevi. (the vague future, arriving alive in your mind)
Era il maggio odoroso: e tu solevi (It was the scented May, and that’s how)
Così menare il giorno. (you spent your day.)

Robert was always content in what he did, with that vague future arriving in his mind in a scanted May. The scented May that gave and took.

Che pensieri soavi, (What sweet thoughts,)
Che speranze, che cori, o Silvia mia! (what hopes, what hearts, O Silvia mia!)
Quale allor ci apparia (How it appeared to us then,)
La vita umana e il fato! (all human life and fate!)
Quando sovviemmi di cotanta speme, (When I recall that hope)
Un affetto mi preme (such feelings pain me,)
Acerbo e sconsolato, ( harsh, disconsolate,)
E tornami a doler di mia sventura. ( I brood on my own destiny)
O natura, o natura, (Oh Nature, Nature)
Perché non rendi poi (why do you not give now)
Quel che prometti allor? perché di tanto (what you promised then? Why)
Inganni i figli tuoi? (do you so deceive your children?)

Why does Nature not give what it promises? Or are these promises our deceptions?

Tu pria che l'erbe inaridisse il verno, (Attacked, and conquered, by secret disease,)
Da chiuso morbo combattuta e vinta, ( the closed death fought and won)…
Anche negaro i fati (Fate has denied those years.),
La giovanezza. Ahi come, ( the youth ah how)
Come passata sei, ( you have passed from me)
Cara compagna dell'età mia nova, ( dear companion of my first age)
Mia lacrimata speme! (my tearful hope)
Questo è quel mondo? (Is this the world, the dreams)
questi I diletti, l'amor, l'opre, gli eventi (the loves, events, delights,)
Onde cotanto ragionammo insieme? (we spoke about so much together?)
Questa la sorte dell'umane genti? (Is this the fate of humanity?)
All'apparir del vero (At the advance of Truth)
Tu, misera, cadesti: e con la mano (you,unhappy one, fell, and with the hand )
La fredda morte ed una tomba ignuda (the cold death and the silent grave)
Mostravi di lontano (you show us from the distance)

This is my tribute to Robert Giangiordano (1958-1987).

Sleep peaceful Robert and dream of swings.